Thursday, March 18, 2010


Here lately my stress level has been above normal. Not without reason of course. But then there are times when i can't destress even when i have nothing to stress about. I don't enjoy my children like I should. I'm having problems getting excited over seeing people. I want to avoid people whenever I can......but then i remember what my friend Pat was like when he went to therapy. The people he saw just gave him heavy duty drugs and sent him on his way. In which he went home to abuse those drugs in order to try and cope with his stress. So it's not something that I take lightly. The parents are supportive of it though. I'm big on the legalization of cannibis. Alot of my friends are like, " just smoke more and you'll be fine". But one, I can't, 2 it's expensive, and 3 I'm very unmovitated when I smoke. I believe that cannibis is good and that helps but I think at this point I need more.
Last night putting my baby down for bed, it takes about 20 minutes to get him to fall asleep. Then he woke me up at 2am. And I didn't get back to sleep until about 3:15 am. And i over slept because for whatever reason my alarm didn't wake me up. So I wake up to my mom saying, " It's 6:30, time to get up". I'm suppose to get up at 6am at the lastest. I'm glad that I did all my morning prep was done last night. So all the baby's bottles were made and my 6 year olds lunch was done. But I'm stressed out beyond belief and this is just normal stuff. I don't think I should have as much stress as I do right now in my life. I just don't want to be put on something heavy to where I can't breastfeed or take care of my kids.
Work isn't too bad, right now I'm doing tons of ebay stuff for dad. He wants to sell alot of old machines and contents that the homeowners don't want. It's Time consuming and alot of work but other than that it's not hard.
I often wonder why I feel like I'm 18 again. Prolly because I'm back living with my parents and working for them again. It's funny because I always used to say that I would never work for Dad again and yet here I am. But i don't feel like i could pass up the opportunity this time around. Plus with all my medical bills and brett not even calling me after I sent him money......well what can you do? But push forward and get his ass in court in 5 more months. :)Well back to work.

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