Thursday, March 18, 2010


Here lately my stress level has been above normal. Not without reason of course. But then there are times when i can't destress even when i have nothing to stress about. I don't enjoy my children like I should. I'm having problems getting excited over seeing people. I want to avoid people whenever I can......but then i remember what my friend Pat was like when he went to therapy. The people he saw just gave him heavy duty drugs and sent him on his way. In which he went home to abuse those drugs in order to try and cope with his stress. So it's not something that I take lightly. The parents are supportive of it though. I'm big on the legalization of cannibis. Alot of my friends are like, " just smoke more and you'll be fine". But one, I can't, 2 it's expensive, and 3 I'm very unmovitated when I smoke. I believe that cannibis is good and that helps but I think at this point I need more.
Last night putting my baby down for bed, it takes about 20 minutes to get him to fall asleep. Then he woke me up at 2am. And I didn't get back to sleep until about 3:15 am. And i over slept because for whatever reason my alarm didn't wake me up. So I wake up to my mom saying, " It's 6:30, time to get up". I'm suppose to get up at 6am at the lastest. I'm glad that I did all my morning prep was done last night. So all the baby's bottles were made and my 6 year olds lunch was done. But I'm stressed out beyond belief and this is just normal stuff. I don't think I should have as much stress as I do right now in my life. I just don't want to be put on something heavy to where I can't breastfeed or take care of my kids.
Work isn't too bad, right now I'm doing tons of ebay stuff for dad. He wants to sell alot of old machines and contents that the homeowners don't want. It's Time consuming and alot of work but other than that it's not hard.
I often wonder why I feel like I'm 18 again. Prolly because I'm back living with my parents and working for them again. It's funny because I always used to say that I would never work for Dad again and yet here I am. But i don't feel like i could pass up the opportunity this time around. Plus with all my medical bills and brett not even calling me after I sent him money......well what can you do? But push forward and get his ass in court in 5 more months. :)Well back to work.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Working and Motherhood

So just a few short 9 weeks after my son was born, I am back and working for the parents. It's not to bad, I get a company vehicle that i can't drive anywhere else but to and from work ( i shouldn't have sold my old van), get paid a decent amount of money. Although will over 6000 dollars of medical bills to worry about and a credit card debit of 5200 dollars, it's prolly not going to be enough. But I'm trying to stay postive and not stress out. Which being a Pisces isn't all that easy to do. Oh woo to me and my money troubles.

I'm done having kids though. This is the second time that I have dumped the man that I had the kid with. And the second time that the father doesn't want a whole lot to do with the kids. I mean he says that he wants to but then after I gave him his half of our joint refund, I haven't seen any support or anything. All of my refund has gone to my medical and credit card bills and cell phone bills, auto insurance and etc. Since I gave him his money I haven't heard from him. Which has been about a week. So I'm giving it more time before I get pissed off. But come on. He expects me to give him a call??? When he has nothing I want except money but he's not going to give me any so why bother? He just keeps saying that he has to support himself first or he'll never get on his feet and there fore never send me support. Well I'm not seeing it now so whatever. Seems just to be excuses.

So I'm thinking about taking over the care of my friends sugar glider. She is really cute and her name is Honey. My friend can't take care of her any more since he has 3 cats and 2 small dogs. But i'm going to do more research first. :) Updates later.